Who watches the Watchmen? Jamie_Dodger_ does.

As a huge fan of the graphic novel I was really excited to see this back when it hit cinema screens.

The look of the film was stunning and I think Zack Snyder got the balance right on what to put into the story and what to leave out this cinematic version and save for the extended DVD.
Rorschach and Nite Owl II were just how I imagined them to be in the flesh. I think Jackie Earle Haley really nailed Rorschach and Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl II was very good.

It was a nice touch to have Nite Owl there when Rorschach died as it made for a more emotional scene compared to the book where he died alone with nobody there but Dr.Manhattan.

On the subject of Doctor Manhattan I might as well get out the way what everyone was talking about and that would be his very blue penis. I never really noticed it after the first time to be honest but I am glad they decided to keep him how he is for the film and not give him some permanent underwear as that wasn't what he was all about.

Maybe there would of been more of an uproar if it had been one of the human characters with their schlong forever hanging out?

As for the 'sex' scene on Archie (The ship) between Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre I would admit that seemed a bit out of place with the content and maybe should be cut down for the DVD. It was like watching poor porn (Or so I have heard) and it did make me chuckle for all the wrong reasons. I don't think what that was all about was really covered on film like it was in the book and so it came across completely different to what it should of been.

I was also chuffed that the scenes from the book I wanted to see were in there. Don't read too much into my mental state about that please as they were mostly violent scenes involving Rorschach in prison.
I loved the cooking fat mutilation and the whole time he spent in prison although it was short compared to (dare I say it again) the book and I don't think he should of got his costume back straight away.

He was without it a while after he was freed in the book if I remember correctly.
I also did not see any problems with the look of President Nixon (some people have commented he looked fake) as I took it that he was just a caricature from the book and that was what was being aimed for.

The minor changes in the film really did not bother me at all and I would go as far to say in some respects it made it better. I really did not have a problem with the new ending either.

I think Zack Snyder has done a good job of bringing this film to the screen and he deserves praise considering the development hell this project had been in for well over twenty years. He has received a lot of stick from fans while making this and I think he has did a fine job.

I would go as far as saying Watchmen is the most faithful adaption of it's genre ever and unfortunately that also may be it's downfall when it comes to non-fans of the book. Do you need to read the novel to appreciate this movie? I think it would help but then I know people that have not read it and have really enjoyed it.
I love it though and I 100% recommend you check out the three hour director cut as well.

Some poetry for you. @Jamie_Dodger_ style...

For some reason last week I felt the need to write some poetry. While it's not the best in the world I thought I'd share it with you.

'Dog Turds'
Big and small but always brown.
White are vintage.
Dog turds.

'Women'
Women, like marmite.
Sometimes you love them.
Sometimes you hate them.
Both have yeast based issues. Women. 

'Gosling'
Ryan, Ryan Gosling.
You can't act.
But apparently you're a hunk.
Shallow, shallow women.

'Love'
Like Nik Kershaw I won't let the sun go down on me.
But the woman who works in carphone warehouse can any time.
Love.

It's not exactly Keats but it will do.

Marzipan Pubes - The day I rocked Twitter with a picture of a cake.

Sundays normally see me going to the pub like most for a few beers and the football on Sky Sports.

Today ended up being a bit different though as a friend  had called asking if me and someone else could go and rescue him for a while at a baby shower in a pub we wouldn't normally go to. The first thing I found a bit odd was someone having a baby shower in a pub? Isn't that something you ladies do at home? The second thing I thought odd was my mate was there. Making a mental note to rpi the piss out of him at a later date we were more that happy to oblige. We went along and walked straight into the pub and quite frankly the worst cake I've ever seen in my life.

As soon as I walked in I noticed what can only be described as the most bizarre looking cake I've ever seen. Straight away I thought to myself I really need to get a picture of that to share with others as not only did I find it hilarious it also disturbed me a bit that someone thought that was actually a good idea? Don't get me wrong I'm sure it tasted very nice but who the hell came up with that?

So I managed to take a few pics of it on the sly (remember I don't actually know the people who are having this baby shower) and immediately posted one on twitter saying:

Just stumbled into a baby shower when walking in the pub. This is a 100% real picture I've just taken of the cake...

And that is when it all went a bit mental on my Android.

I've been getting tweets and retweets from people that have found that picture either funny, disgusting or they are just baffled that anyone would think that a good idea and not in bad taste at all. I'm really not a prude (as people that follow me on Twitter know) but something about that cake just made me cringe.

I had to turn the alerts system on my phone to off in the end as it was beeping every second with people messaging me. It's still going now. People from all over the world are seeing this picture and sharing it. And then the people they share it with are sharing it and it doesn't seem to be stopping even now this evening. I also seemed to be trending for a while on UK Twitter which to be honest was bloody terrifying. As of me typing this that picture was coming up to 900 retweets.

I'll end by saying one of my favourite comments from someone so far has been - 

That cake isn't that realistic. The NHS would never allow you that many pillows.

Brilliant.

Discrimination at it's strangest....

Unfortunately it is still a common misconception that if you don't look a certain way some people expect you to be somehow mentally lacking.

You may or may not know I was born with a cleft lip a palate.

Approximately 1 in 700 children are born with a cleft lip and/or a cleft palate each year. Clefts can also affect other parts of the face, such as the eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and forehead. Lucky for me I've not had other problems apart from scaring, my nose and some speech and hearing problems when I was a kid. The only problem I have with my forehead is the lack of hair which now seems to be falling out (thank you Dad).
Anyway, it's a shame that in this day and age some people still seem to associate such problems with mental capability as well. I don't get this from people very often but when it does it still catches me off guard. Although I'm capable of ignoring such ignorance I find myself still rather pissed that some people can be so narrow minded.
I recall once I was minding my own business when an elderly lady came up to me one day and told me it was nice that people like me were able to get jobs. When I asked her what she meant she said "You know" to which I replied "No, I don't".
She then went on to tell me how she thought it was good that despite me being "slow" (her words not mine) it didn't stop me from getting a job. After I got over the sheer disbelief of what this women said I couldn't help but wonder how many other people put up with such ignorance on a daily basis and how they handle it?
These days I find it rather amusing in a sad way when I come across these people. Don't get me wrong it's young and old that can be like this (don't want some pensioners group having a go at me) but if at some point in the future you look at someone that maybe doesn't conform with your narrow view of society for goodness sake think before you open your mouth.

Batman & Robin (1997) - Yeah I pretty much love this movie.

Right. As a tribute to the 60's Batman show this film is fantastic.
There. I have said it...
If Joel Schumacher's goal was to make a kid-friendly Batman adventure romp, then he succeeded. Yes I agree its bad but its actually perfect for kids and seeing as I have the mentality of a child that's probably why I enjoy it. I'll admit it's mind numbingly stupid but whats not to enjoy about bat puns, plant puns, ice puns and bird puns? I also love the sets in this they are fantastic.
While the bat costumes are dodgy (although remove the nipples and they would be alright) I've always loved the Mr Freeze costume. In fact I always thought Arnie would of been a great Mr Freeze if the script had not been so poor and he wasn't such a shite actor.
His evil plan regarding turning Gotham into a giant ice cube it up there with turning all the world leaders into small dust piles. People forget this film does have a serious side, with Alfred's failing health (Even more poignant after the sad death of Michael Gough) and the tragic story of Mr. Freeze and his wife. The less said about Uma Thurman though the better and as for Bane he's alright...hmmm.
I still think George Clooney was far better than Kilmer who was just meh! in my opinion. Although his portrayal is a far cry from the tortured soul whose parents were gunned down right before his eyes.
Chris O'Donnell is ok as Robin but I think he was a lot better in the previous film. I wonder what Christian Bale would of been like had he won the role?
One thing I've never understood is why Barbara is Alfred's niece and not Gordon's daughter? I also think she should of kept the helmet piece we see her wear on her Bat-bike which was like Batman's mask. That would of been far better.
"Bruce it's me Barbara"...No shit! Alicia Silverstone.

Barbara: Partners?
Dick: Partners.
Bruce: Partners.
Alfred: We're going to need a bigger cave.

RIP Batman movies until 2005.

3D films just don't do anything for me I'm afraid. Infact I hate them.

If I can I avoid 3D films like the plague.

Since it became popular again I've not seen the point or the appeal of this craze and I do my very best to avoid films involving it as in my experience it's overrated. It's clearly just a way to get an extra few quid out of me as its almost double the cost of a cinema ticket to experience the novelty.
I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I care more about the story and characters in a movie and not if I'm being amazed by bullets or laser beams coming out of the screen because I'm wearing look-a-like NHS glasses. I'm sure at some point in the future we will see even more directors solely concentrate on this bandwagon and thus ignore the story and any message the film itself might have. For now I'm happy to watch films without 3D although I'd ask you kindly to give me a call when the Star Trek holodecks arrive.

A letter to George Osborne

I stumbled across this last week and I thought I'd share it with you.

Chancellor of the Exchequer
11 Downing Street
London
England

24th June 2010

Dear George Osbourne

It has come to my attention that while many of my friends and I were at the funeral of our good friend Paul Reekie (aged 48) it would appear that you were giving a speech in Parliament announcing your intentions to slash the benefits paid to the poorest and most vulnerable in our society.

I thought I would let you know that Paul took his own life last week. He didn’t leave a note but he laid out two letters on his table. One was notifying him that his housing benefit had been stopped. The other was notifying him that his incapacity benefit had been stopped. Unlike you and your fellow upper class ponces Paul was a creative genius and much loved by all who knew him.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing this letter is just so you know the human cost of attacking those on benefits. And also to let you know that if you are ever in Edinburgh, and we have the misfortune to meet, I’d like to kick your fucking cunt in.

Yours sincerely

Kevin Williamson